Weddings and therapy should not go hand in hand… How many horror stories of bridal breakdowns have we all heard about? Planning a wedding is inevitably stressful because every bride wants their dream wedding to go smashingly, but details are abundant, which leaves a lot of room for disaster… if you let it.
The good news is… there are some pointers to help avoid unnecessary stress and save your energy to enjoy your wedding day and even your wedding night!
Here is a little list of 13 wedding planning tips to avoid stress before, on and after your wedding day!
- Don’t get stuck in your fantasy so that you can’t even enjoy reality: Regardless of seamless planning, life is full of surprises and things may not go EXACTLY as planned. The sooner you accept this fateful fact, the sooner you will relieve some of your wedding stress. Sometimes the curveballs that life throws you make for true memorable experiences, with character rather than perfection. Which do you think you’ll remember?
- It takes two to tango: This is the 21st century; weddings are not just a girl-thing…the wedding day is for both people getting married, so both should be involved in the planning. Marriage is the work of two, so why not the occasion which starts your marriage? So men, step up and say what you think, feel or like, and women… do not be the Bridezilla that makes the groom want to run and hide until the honeymoon.
- Give yourself enough time to plan properly: If we learned anything from college, it is the stress that comes from cramming and the ease of studying earlier than 24 hrs before the exam. Consider your wedding like an exam. The longer you prepare, the smoother it will probably go because there is more time to work out all the possible details, scenarios and yes, disasters too.
- Ask for help: Most friends and family would love to help you plan and put together your wedding day. Just make sure you delegate the right tasks to the right people and it will certainly help lift the load off of your shoulders. Just make sure you keep an eye on things to avoid damage control at the end.
- Don’t try to please everyone, this day belongs to 2 people, you and your fiancé: Many people have good intentions when getting involved with the wedding planning, and their ideas are welcome, but it should stop there. People should know their boundaries, but if they don’t, make it clear. Your wedding is for you two, not for Grandma, or Aunt Sue who thinks it should be in the family church instead of a garden. Remember, it is your day. Period.
- Hire the right wedding planner and listen to them: We hire wedding planners because they are experts and can take a lot of the planning into their own hands. So let them. They are the voice of experience and reason, if you don’t listen, you may as well do a DIY wedding. But, do make sure you hire a like-minded planner who shares a similar style and vision, or you may be listening to the wrong voice…
- Decide on a reasonable budget together and stick to it: Money is a big issue in marriages, so start on the right foot. There is no need to add stress because of breaking the bank in order to serve lobster. Make the best with what you have and make sure that both of you agree on the spending.
- Go over the photography, video, and music details days before the wedding: Whether it is your friends or hired professionals, make sure you go over each detail before the actual event so that you don’t even have to give it a second-thought on your wedding day. These elements can really make or break your wedding memories, so plan carefully and don’t expect people to read your mind. Go over everything from “must-have” shots, candids, the schedule, and the style you want for the shots and the music. The last thing you want is a DJ who plays a Meatloaf hit for your first dance because it was his song with his ex-wife whom he married in 1992…
- Have Plan B wedding vendors in case you have some no-shows: Nobody wants to think of this, but just in case, be prepared. It is better to have a back- up florist in mind, than freaking out when your florist has a fire the night before or takes your money and runs… Just have a list of second-picks for your main vendors and put someone in charge of contacting them in the case of an emergency.
- Stage fright? Visualize your vows, your first dance, or any other spotlight moments days or months in advance. It is a proven technique, but don’t worry… secret’s safe with us.
- Don’t focus on the table cloths, focus on your marriage or spouse to be: Don’t get too caught up on the little details on your wedding day, if your tablecloths are white instead of beige, let it go. That is the least important thing when the person you love has just vowed their love and devotion to you.
- Ask your family to come with baggage, but clothes ONLY: Most of us don’t have perfect families, and if you do, they may reveal imperfections at this time because weddings breed emotions. So… to avoid family feuds, you should simply ask everyone to be on his or her best behavior for at least 24hrs or consider the idea of sending them photos instead (not everyone, just the problem members). Nobody should ruin your day, especially family, so if they can’t get it together, then let them deal with it. You have enough to handle without family baggage.
- Stress is contagious… so relax and make sure you are around only positive people and elements: Remember, this is supposed to be one of the most memorable and probably the best day of your life. Don’t let things or people get you down. If everything goes to plan, it will only happen once- so don’t let it fly by in a whirlwind of stress. Step away from people and elements that stress you out. Do whatever you can to stay in a healthy environment and mental space for your big day. Enjoy every moment.